As most of these stories start....a few years back.....
I used to live with my then GF on the upstairs flat of a masonette and our down stair neigbours were a South African couple who we never did really see eye to eye with.

Anyways During the summer months when it was hot and we had the windows open we would often hear them go at it hammer and tongs, now I have to comment that either the chap was Hung like a stallion or she was seriously noisy as you could hear every stroke.

Unfortunately it got to the point that I think that he like to prove that he was Don Wan and would start to plough the missus during the day when were in the garden. At first it was amusing but it soon became annoying and then embarrassing when we had friends around.

So one day I decided to freak them out a bit, so the morning after the had been at there noisiest best, mentioned that in passing that I had seen someone in the back garden snooping and I when I opened the kitchen window he did a runner. To which he grunted something like "what, ill kell da faking bastard if i see heem".

All I had to do now was wait for another performance and I would pounce, and after about a week once again they were giving us a rendition of the natural history channel at 1 in the morning, so I waited till they were well and truly about to break some furniture and I just stuck my camera out the window and let the flash do the rest. Anyways as soon as the flash illuminated the garden the saffa oaf instantly thought that the "snooper" was in his garden taking pictures of them humping, and within seconds he's in the garden with a baseball bat screaming that he's going to kill the Mofo and all sorts of shit, of course this woke up most of the street who looked out to see the fella standing bollock naked ranting like a loon.

Soon after they moved on and I like to think I had something to do with it as they were really and obnoxious pair of racist twunts.

No length or gurth jokes were harmed during the telling of this story.
( caffeinefreak, Fri 12 Oct 2007, 16:27, Reply)