Teenage party shenanigans
It was late summer '93 and my college mates were about to decamp to the far flung further educational establishments of the land after getting our A Level results. A friend of a friend arranged to throw a farewell shindig at her parents gaff which was quite posh and well appointed, the ground floor being generously spacious to accommodate a bunch of pissed teenagers.

The turnout was impressive, with a good twenty odd of my friends and a scattering of people I didn't know. At nineteen, I was a full year older than anyone else there which had some kudos. Anyway, after a few cans of Luftwaffe lager I'm sufficiently sociable enough to engage in conversation with anyone passing. I ended up chatting to a young lass - sixteen - for about half an hour or so and there was some subtle flirting going on. Actually, who am I trying to kid? We were drunken teenagers so it was probably about as subtle as a runaway shitwagon, but hey. I had a sudden attack of this thing called 'conscience' and realised that she was JUST sixteen and therefore too young for the likes of me dallying with.

So I did the honorable thing and went off for a smoke at the end of the garden and laid on the wall, watching the stars and enjoying some chilled out quiet time.

A good fifteen minutes of quiet time later I sauntered back toward the party. Walking down the dark lawn I was startled to notice a white pulsating object next to my right foot. What the hell...?

Upon closer inspection the white object appeared to be a disembodied arse hovering a few inches above the ground. Moreover it appeared to be oscillating up and down. In my alcohol fuddled brain, the significance of this fact took a vital few seconds to filter into my consciousness as I noticed a knee on either side of the arse. Whoopsy.

No doubt the protagonists assumed I was some kind of pervert, so blushing furiously, I headed back to the party. Now the bit that was uncalled for was me summoning everyone into the garden, dimming the music and at my signal inciting the audience to cheer loudly.

Bless em, they carried on regardless with nary a pause.

The significant bit? Well, the knees belonged to the very same lady whom I was being flirted with earlier in the evening. I like to think I was the warm up act...

Oh and when helping tidy up the next morning, I had to broom over the buttock imprint in the dusty concrete.

[edited for grammer as pointed out by our esteemed rachelswipe]
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 17 Oct 2007, 12:20, 7 replies)

You're giving your age
away mate!
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 17 Oct 2007, 12:32, closed)

i thought twixt
meant "between". what sort of position has the knees between the ass cheeks instead of the other way around, i am scared now!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Oct 2007, 14:21, closed)

Yay!
PJM is an old gimmer like us, although not as gimmering old as me.
( girlinthehole, Wed 17 Oct 2007, 14:43, closed)

Spelling and dodderiness
Thanks to rachelswipe, that sentence clearly makes no sense so I have edited it.

BGB: Yep, am an old giffer... And damn proud of it!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 17 Oct 2007, 15:21, closed)

Fecking kids...
I'm older than the lot of you.

*grumbling about aching joints*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 17 Oct 2007, 16:33, closed)

erm..
would you call me a prick if I said you'd spelt grammar wrong?
Sorry. Pedant.
(Tip-Top Tomcat but you can call me Tommo, Wed 17 Oct 2007, 23:07, closed)

Whippersnappers
The lot of you.

47 and proud of it. I don't look a day over 46. My youthful looks come of not drinking,smoking,having wild monkey sex or telling lies.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 5:53, closed)