3-2-1
Anyone old enough remember the final bit of this quiz? This was where five sketches were performed, and then a rhyme was read out to the contestants as a tortuous and convoluted clue as to which prize they could win. They then had to discard certain clues in order to win the star prize of a brand new Mini Metro or something. If they were really unlucky, they would go home with a brand new dustbin. The poor fuckers. Well, at the tender age of ten, maybe eleven, I worked one of these out. Straight away. It was obvious. "Get rid of that one, it's the flippin' bin."

My smugness at my Holmesian ability to sniff out a crap prize was compounded when the unfortunate contestants did, indeed, go home with dusty bin. I think my mother had never been so proud of me as she was then.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 14:09, 11 replies)

Convoluted? Nah…

Ted Rogers: “Right, it was the Dancing Girl who dropped off the clue of a ‘large key’…

Now, Dancing is a form of moving…so it might be the car…*ooooooh!*
But remember the key. Now everybody knows that ‘key’, in French, is ‘clef’, which is also a musical term so it might be the music centre…*slightly quieter Oooohh*

Now the card reads :
’Thirty turns and you will find,
Something that will blow your mind”

Now turns, like dancing, is a form of movement, but what else turns?...yes, spinning plates...

And we all know that a man’s stomach is the ‘KEY’ to his heart, so how could you do that?

Now dancing…what’s a famous type of dancing? Yes, the ‘Can-can’…And where do we get dancing? Yes, parties!

So cans…plates…parties…that’s right, this prize will blow your mind…it’s the 1970’s Hostess trolley!”

*Cue facepalming all round*

As I watched the clues on 3-2-1 I remember saying 'What the thermonuclear fuck?' and I was only 8 months old at the time.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 14:26, closed)

Ha ha.
So true. The clue I got contained the word 'boffin'. It seemed completely logical to me that if you took the word 'off' out of 'boffin', then you were left with 'bin'. And that's exactly how the clue worked.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 14:31, closed)

off wikipedia..
For example, a wishbone brought on by Sonny Hayes came with the clue "Take one that never changes, add a pub and a precious stone, bring them all up-to-date, and now you're on your own", which the contestants rejected hoping it referred to Dusty Bin. Rogers explanation of the clue was: "'Take one that never changes', well that could be Dusty Bin which of course is where you might throw a wishbone. 'Add a pub and a precious stone', well that doesn't point to Dusty. 'Bring them all up-to-date, and now you're on your own'. Well what about the wishbone? Sonny said 'a large wishbone', so what might a large wishbone come from? Something larger than a chicken. Turkey maybe? Now 'one that never changes' is a constant, a pub can also be an inn, there's a lot of precious stones but how many go with 'constant inn'? How about opal? Yes, Constantinople, up-to-date, the pride of Turkey, you've rejected the 3–2–1 holiday!"

My dad who could complete a cryptic crossword in a few hours couldn't get his head around it.
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 14:44, closed)

I've got right into cryptic crosswords lately
and that's utterly obtuse, I'd never have got that
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 19:18, closed)

Jesus fucking Christ...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 19:44, closed)

Hahaha, this is one of my favourite things ever :)
Was that a real clue, or did you make it up?

That should be next week's QotW: 3-2-1 Clues
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 14:53, closed)

I made it up...

Which probably explains why it is somewhat easier to figure out than the real 'clues' from that programme.

After reading that actual clue above I now have blood dripping from my ears.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 14:59, closed)

I loved the fact that the contestants actually pretended to facepalm, as if the answer had been staring them in the face the whole time.

I reckon there's loads on the cutting room floor of couples hearing the answer and then telling Ted he's talking bollocks.
(BinDipper, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:17, closed)

I cannot express how hard I am laughing at the phrase
"What the thermonuclear fuck?"
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 14:16, closed)

My parents went on this once and only bloody won.
(skrinklelada, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 20:37, closed)

Did they win Dusty Bin?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 15 Oct 2011, 1:06, closed)