I cannot fathom out
why I always fart after sex. The better the sex, the louder, more prolonged and baritone the farts. The other night's shenanigans were particularly pleasurable and (in my opinion anyway) spectacular. Afterwards, I laid down, satisfied and then it happened. It must have gone on for almost 5 seconds, with the timbre of a double bassoon and could be heard in the next post code.

It's the only time my emissions are of such a high calibre. Someone suggested it was the agitation and vigorous movement of the body, which creates something similar to shaking up a fizzy drink, but the surely that would occur if I went jogging, but it doesn't.

Anybody else experience this phenomenon and/or can provide an explanation?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 11:51, 18 replies)

Well, the old joke goes:
Q: Why do men fart after sex?
A: Because if they farted during sex, they might get chucked out of bed
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 11:53, closed)

Perhaps she's blowing
instead of sucking. The better she is, the more air you have to expel afterwards.
(username failed moderation, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 11:54, closed)

I even wondered
if someone I was inhaling air into my colon somehow through the action of various pelvic muscles. I could understand it if she was pegging me with a particularly large strap-on, but I think I'd notice that.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 12:06, closed)

Is that
to say if it was a medium sized one, you wouldn't?
(username failed moderation, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 12:45, closed)

+1

(McChinaman banned, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 13:09, closed)

It's the plunger effect caused by the cock up your arse.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 12:06, closed)

"cocks"
(plural)
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 12:40, closed)

I had a shortlist
of who would post this. You were top.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 12:43, closed)

Bollocks was I, it was Badger and you know it.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 13:22, closed)

Badger
although scathing, is not as coarse and brash as you, he was fourth after you, Rory Lyon and Janet Whatsherface
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:45, closed)

aubergine innit
vegetables are notorious for that when you use them as a butt plug

er, im told
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 13:03, closed)

I would hazard a guess:
It's about a general stimulation of the Sympathetic nervous system; and/or the increase in body heat causing an increase in intestinal bacterial activity as well as thermal expansion of the existing gas.

But then, I'd suggest asking someone competent in physiology.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:07, closed)

Cut it out
with the sloppy romantic stuff, would you?
(username failed moderation, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:48, closed)

^^This

(roysin, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 20:40, closed)

I truly believe
you should submit that to the reader's questions section at the back of New Scientist.
( Zoroastermouse thinks therefore he am, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:45, closed)

I was thinking Yahoo Answers
But that's a better suggestion
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:46, closed)

Damn near everything you post seems to involve a story about you getting your end away.
You're not fooling anyone, y'know.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 19:44, closed)

you must have a very understanding partner
Parrrrrp!!....... "How was it for you? "
(Mackeson_drinker, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 7:47, closed)