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This is a question Weddings

Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in-fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.

Tell us your wedding stories.

(, Thu 14 Jul 2005, 15:19)
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My own wedding
Apologies for the length of this before we start.

Weddings seem to be a cause of many disasters/funny stories in my family, but let’s start with the story of my wedding.

Things got off to what can best be described as a shaky start, my wife to be and I decided that we would have a small affair, immediate family and close friends only. This was fine until the brides mother wades in and attempts to expand the fair to monstrous proportions inviting anyone who had the slightest connection to us along (not quite but almost up to the level of cousins mates window cleaner. I jest not!) To support this wholesale trampling of our hopes for our special day she treats me to one of the most fractured pieces of logic I have ever encountered, and I quote "the wedding day is for the mother of the bride not the bride." WTF!

Having managed to stave off the worst of her plans things proceed. Eventually the big day comes and we dutifully decamp to York registry office for the ceremony and then a hotel for reception etc. All goes well at this point and I eventually relax and start to enjoy the day.

During the evening do a couple of ropey tarts for want of a better phrase are spotted wondering around availing themselves of unattended drinks and randomly harassing guess. Initial enquiries suggest they know the DJ, cheeky bleeder thinks I, what's he think he’s doing bringing these slappers along. However after speaking to the DJ and confronting the women concerned it turned out that they were in fact local prostitutes. Ahh lovely. Both hilarious and a little unsettling watching my dad and a few of the larger guests trying to get these women out and into a waiting police car to spend the evening at her majesty’s pleasure, without alerting the other guests (succeeded as well)

So after this I think all has gone well and I am looking forward to married life..... Two months later I realise that I have in fact married a complete mentalist and walk out. Fortunately her Mum and Dad were the ones who had spunked thousands of pounds on the big day!

Still you've gotta laugh.
(, Thu 14 Jul 2005, 18:27, Reply)

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