b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Weddings » Post 36012 | Search
This is a question Weddings

Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in-fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.

Tell us your wedding stories.

(, Thu 14 Jul 2005, 15:19)
Pages: Popular, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

« Go Back

Shocking speech
I used to work as head barman at a venue which hosted weddings. Come the speeches I would gather the barmaids to listen to them and then we would decide on how long we gave the marriage before it broke down in acrimony - the shortest was about an hour when one of my staff caught the groom in the beer cellar with a bridesmaid.

Anyway, one wedding staged with us was obviously a bit of a rush job, the bride's father oiling his (no doubt Purdey) shotgun.

The groom came from what can only be described as a salt-of-the-earth (ie chav) background, while his bride was from a very posh family.

The reception was a lovely affair, the chavs only occasionally had to be prevented from stealing our fixtures and fittings, and the toffs being thoroughly amused at their working class antics - until the speeches.

The groom made a lovely, respectful and eloquent speech, before rounding it off with: "Thanks everyone for coming and making this special day so wonderful. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to fuck the missus."

Half the room erupted into cheers, the other half's jaws hit the tables simultaneously.

First time poster. Apologies for length, but some of you like it.
(, Sat 16 Jul 2005, 14:51, Reply)

« Go Back

Pages: Popular, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1