Weddings Part IIAttending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.
Tell us more of your wedding stories.
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chthonic, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 18:10)
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I'll never understand the urge to hold a party with all your friends and family. They're all cunts.Her father staggered over and said "I've decided I want to give a speech." "No problem," she replies, "do it just before the best man." This just isn't on. He should get to speak first, not wait for his ex-wife to finish.
"Mum's been working on her speech for 2 months," the bride explains, "you've been working on yours since your fifth pint. If you go first you'll say some of the same things and ruin hers."
He has one card left to play, "I don't care, I'm the father of the bride, I want to go first." No dice, she's staying firm, he's second. "Well, if you're going to be like that I don't know why I even came!"
I've never been so glad to just be a guest.
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Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 3:09,
3 replies)
The best man was the bride's mum?(, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 5:57, closed)
After the mumbefore the best man
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Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 10:12,
closed)
Please tell me I'm not the only one who read the first part of the third line and thought the mum was recovering from a stroke(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 8:06,
closed)
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