Twice in 24 hours. . .
I had woken up at around 8:45am in my girlfriend’s bedroom, alone, with a stinking hang-over and fully clothed (and wtf is that smell?!?). Anyway, while being hung-over in her bed was quite a frequent occurrence, the fact that I wasn’t bollock naked and semi-entwined with an equally naked girlfriend should have got the alarm bells ringing...

Having found my bearings and realised that Vicki (the girlfriend) was in the kitchen making eggs and coffee for breakfast, I got naked and under the covers ready for some morning sexy time before I had to head off to the studio! This scenario sounded great because I was seriously hung over, a bit horny and I love eggs (!!!) and up until this point she had never made me breakfast once (alarm bells should have been ringing here but no, male pride took over and I thought she was just trying to get some sweet, sweet Arola M0rre loving before I left).

After breakfast and coffee (for some reason Vicki wasn’t eating anything - alarm bells? No not yet!) and then she starts talking about the night before and what her boss had said to her in the pub and did I even remember anything about it?

Shit - I couldn’t remember a thing about last night... (Alarm bells ringing like fuck now!!)

And then she said “Well, we need to talk...”

As soon as she said “those four words” I knew what had happened last night. We had had this exact conversation the previous evening and I had refused to listen. In a drunken stupor I had decided not to take her seriously when she started talking about “Us”... I remember thinking it would be funny to say things like “You can’t finish with me, I’m the guy!” and “I don’t care if you don’t think we have a future together, I’m not letting you split up with me...” and “It can’t be over, it’s FRIDAY NIGHT lets split up on Monday instead!!” and then alternating between drunkenly chatting up her boss and trying to get Vicki to give me a blow job in the pub toilets.

So when she said “We need to talk...” It was pretty clear what was coming - She obviously wasn’t impressed that I hadn’t taken her seriously the night before when she wanted to discuss our relationship, or that I refused to take no for an answer and had insisted on coming back to her house after we had effectively split up, again due to me not taking her seriously. Nor was she happy that she had to sleep on the sofa in the front room because I was passed out in her bed... So she tells me that she is serious, she doesn’t know where this relationship is heading and she can’t see any future with me because all I want to do is go to her pub and get drunk for free every night.

So there you have it four words and that’s the end of our relationship – no morning sex and no more free booze at the pub where she worked. . . And to cap it off, I’m now bollock naked in my ex girlfriends bed because I hadn’t remembered that we split up the night before!!! So I have to get up, get dressed and leave without any sexy time... Humble pie or what!?

The story doesn’t end here. . . It gets worse in fact; it wasn’t until after I left and was on the tube that I remembered where the strange smell came from... I had been sick down the side of her bed in the night and just left it there... Oh, the shame!
(aroe_m0rre, Tue 24 Apr 2007, 17:33, Reply)