Every three months
for four years, I'd hear the phrase "We need to talk".
It took me two years to work it out - she was crazy.
I should have guessed the first time when she insisted on meeting me at liverpool st station. When I arrived she said those immortal words, then handed me a letter to read. Thinking this was a bit weird (why not say, you need to read?) I did my best to read it, hampered slightly by her tiny, childish writing. It didn't help that it was rush hour and I was being jostled by commuters, or the fact that she rambled on for four pages (both sides).
we settled in to a nice pattern where every now and then we needed to have a massive row and hysterical crying. This was usually followed by a week of frantic makeup sex, which seem to make it all worth it (for a bit).
It soon became apparent to me that this was not normal behaviour and after a couple of more 'talk' sessions, I persuaded her to go to the doctor. This action resulted in her being 'accepted' into a local institution.
I should have cut and run as soon as they closed the door on her, however I'm a nice guy and thought I should stay by her.
Six months into this and it's my birthday, she's being let out for the day (and night). I had to work, but that morning I made sure the house was nice and tidy for her, spruced up the bathroom and flowers in the bedroom etc.
She called me when she got there and was suprisingly cold to me, not sure what was up I asked her and got the phrase "We need to talk". Great. It's my birthday and I'm going home to a blazing row.
Turns out I hadn't washed up enough (silly me for forgetting to clean my breakfast things). When I got home she flipped out at me for nearly two hours.
By this point I'd been the sole earner for most of our relationship, coped with all her nerousis and spent half the year supporting her in hospital, whilst she painted watercolours and had group therapy.
I had some other heavy shit going on in my own life then and couldn't take it anymore. I broke down and cried hysterically for nearly an hour (not a pretty sight really).
She didn't seem to think this a problem to a) do this at all or b) to do it on my birthday.

Anyway, she went back to hospital and we stayed together for another two years. With a tedious predictability we carried on our 3 monthly breakdown until the final time when she told me she'd had an affair (screwed some guy 20 years older than her once - I've had longer shits than that affair).
It was all because I wasn't paying her enough attention (probably because the lazy bitch hadn't worked in years and I was out all the time trying to earn money).
That was the final straw and I was able to get her out of my life completly and start dating the cute 'lovely girl' at work (it's now been 12 years and we still haven't had a significant row).

One of these days I'm gonna write one of these and it won't be so fecking long!
(EvilMeister, Wed 25 Apr 2007, 20:18, Reply)