The Weird Kid In ClassThere was a kid in my class who stood up every day and told everyone he had new shoes. This went on for weeks, and we all thought him nuts. Then, one day, he stood up and told us a long story about why his family were moving to another part of the country, and how excited he was. The next thing we heard was that he'd died in a plane crash.
Let's hear about the weird kid in your class...
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Fraser has joined the Moomins., Fri 19 Jan 2007, 10:18)
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True story ... no, reallyOur form teacher was a religious nut. Read the Bible at her desk and was always spouting Jesus. Well, once month each class had to do a presentation to the whole school. Other classes chose things like 'The Weather', or 'Where Sausages Come From', or 'Polyester and it Uses'. We always had to do something from the Bible.
So I wrote an essay disproving the existence of God. My argument was that heaven had to be in space, and that NASA had a logbook containing all objects in space. Heaven wasn't in it, and neither was God. Plus, there's no oxygen in space, so anyone who went to heaven would asphyxiate. Ergo, God didn't exist.
And I delivered this essay to the entire school (having conned my form teacher into believing that I was going to read something about Joseph's goddamn technicolour underpants or something). A shocked silence settled over the hundreds of faces as I blasphemed my way into school lore ... and the devout headmistress went from her usual nun-like pallour to a boiling red of seething outrage.
I was 9.
[Rachelswipe has just sent me a message that gave me a boner. I fear I will have it for weeks.]
(, Sat 20 Jan 2007, 20:28, Reply)
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