Having lived...
in some of the less salubrious student areas of cities (something that many prospestuses seem to carefully avoid) I have witnessed a couple of really bad things.. and some less so.

One of the first really bad incidents was whilst I was walking back from the pub I worked in, in North Wembley. We'd had a couple of beers afterwork as one does, the consequence of this was that although I could and should have afforded my last pennies to a taxi... I decided that my last fiver would be better spent the next day on more beer... So I elected to walk.

Having done this a number of times it didnt really cross my mind that vast majority of my journey would be down a major road, that has some of the highest levels of crime in London, perhaps the UK itself.

Waddling along, my house just 5 minutes away I come to a row of shops either side of the 4 lane road... the usual mix of newsagents, irish bar, chicken place and the other tat shops that you never go into.

Looking to my left I notice a skuffle and some shouting going on in the door way to the chicken place... thinknig not much of it - just drunk people trying to get free fried rat a presumed.

Oh dear - One third of a second later young english chap comes flying out the chicken emporium straight across the road into the Irish bar... 4/32nds of a minute later a crowd of 20 odd drunk irish builder types come storming out of the pub in the manner befitting a siege...

They werent happy... to put it politly...

All I can say is that it really was a sight to behold, and I was about to potentially get chucked into the middle of it...

So I did what all 20 year olds do - crossed into the middle of the empty road, avoided any staring - flying fishs - and seeing as it was run by turkish imigrants probably plenty of machetees... once out of ear shot - I called the police, now I was well within ear shot of the scene for a good 10 minutes... not a single copper arrived!!!

I never heard a thing about it in the papers, and the police never recontacted me regarding further information - oh well...

The second incident occured not 5 minutes after the first!!! I think they were possibly racing away from the scene... I turn my head to see an escort absolutly flooring it down the road - sounding very much like a box of cats with a squirel.

This in its self was not particulalry amazing, I just thought tosser... but just as I walked past a parked car... BANG!!! Escost is now planted in the rear quarter of parker car... I look and see the shock of the 4 passengers... bemused, very surreal, the chap driving whacks the car into reverse, with a couple of shunts hes free of the wreck, and once again racing off down the road...

All this fun was making me feel particulalry happy... it was like being part of some budget British movie, so once again, I flopped out my phone - and called the police!

Strangly however, the police did call me back and they were all caught, although they wouldn't/couldn't tell me if the two incidents were related... hmmmmm

Length - a good foot into the rear of the hatch back right over the rear wheel!!!
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Thu 14 Feb 2008, 12:30, 2 replies)

Not surprised the police didn't turn up quickly
Used to work for the police a few years back. Was chatting with an old police sergeant who told me about having to stop a young probationer from running to a Friday night punch up at a nearby pub. He advised the eager young pup to take his time getting there, it'd let those involved punch themselves out, meaning the police only had to deal with the aftermath, instead of having to wade in to hyped up, drunk combatants, and risk getting a beating themselves for their trouble.
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Thu 14 Feb 2008, 12:47, closed)

me neither
I used to manage a fairly rough pub and if we rang for the cops we could never say that we were staff and always say the fight was over and security had detained the troublemakers. Otherwise the cops wouldn't even log the call, let alone turn up. Twunts
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 2:03, closed)