Old friend of the family,
whom I've known since childhood, is a lovely woman but not one to get on the wrong side of. She was one of the last old-style hospital Matrons, and not to be trifled with.

She and some student nurses were walking through the Meadows in Edinburgh (now the place to avoid at night if you don't want to get mugged/knifed/raped) but not so bad back then, and it was broad daylight.

Flasher jumps out from behind a tree, whips open the coat and waggles his bits at them. Student nurses all collapse in hysterics, but Matron was made of sterner stuff.

She was carrying a furled umbrella - a long, golf-style umbrella - which she whipped upwards at the speed of light right into his (still wobbling) gonads. Imagine that particularly delicate part of the male anatomy, stark naked and unprotected, being struck with some considerable force with a pointy metal thing.

He crumpled to the ground in agony, Matron despatched a student nurse to call the police, and stood guard over him, umbrella poised over his groin, until the police arrived and took him into custody. I'd imagine that he was rather relieved to see them.

When the case came to court he pleaded guilty and was fined the equivalent of a month's wages (can't remember how much it was). Personally, I think he went for a guilty plea so he wouldn't have to face Matron in the courtroom!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 14 Feb 2008, 18:14, 7 replies)

30 care workers
that happened very near me. i would rather go to a vetinary surgeon than the hospital that treated her.

Christ im sad now.
(Mr. Fahrenheit Can reach naught to fuck you in 8.36 seconds, Thu 14 Feb 2008, 18:23, closed)

Thats the kind of women you need as a friend..
... and lay off the creme eggs, they'll go straight to your hips. :)
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Feb 2008, 20:02, closed)

BGB
She was a terrific role model for me as a young'un - and could knock back whisky like it was water to boot!
Creme eggs - my current passion - don't separate us, it would be cruel. A heinous crime. Bugger the hips (mind you, the clue is in my username - I am fairly wee)
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 14 Feb 2008, 20:41, closed)

pleaded
sorry.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 16 Feb 2008, 11:35, closed)

^^^ thanks!
wasn't sure, will now edit. Bit of a perfectionist, you see.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Sat 16 Feb 2008, 13:32, closed)

YES!
punches air, does victory dance in honor of big tough scary nurses
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Mon 18 Feb 2008, 0:57, closed)

A nurse
I used to kow was riding her horse one day when a flasher jumped out at her; she just looked and said "Is that it?" and cantered off.
(kitescreech still here, Mon 18 Feb 2008, 20:16, closed)