I witnessed a crimeFreddy Woo writes, "A group of us once staggered home so insensible with drink that we failed to notice someone being killed and buried in a shallow grave not more than 50 yards away. A crime unsolved to this day."
Have you witnessed a crime and done bugger all about it? Or are you a have-a-go hero?
Whatever. Tell us about it...
(
chthonic, Thu 14 Feb 2008, 11:53)
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London Underground numptiesI commited a crime...
A long long time ago in a city many (thankful) miles away from my present location I was at the bottom of the M1 and wanted to be in Shepherds Bush. And I had 50p. Being ticketless on the tube was unpleasant in those days due to numpty uniformed numpties in all stations. So I bought a child fare from the ticket machine to the next station, travelled to Oxford Circus and changed to the Central Line without going through a ticket gate. I don't know why it is possible to do this at Oxford Circus but if you wander around long enough it just seems to happen. Got to Shepherds Bush and walked up to gate. Whereupon following conversation ensued.
Me "hello, I dropped my ticket in a gap in the floor by mistake so I can't show it too you."
Numpty "Lying hippy student scum, No you didn't. You're trying to cheat London Underground of a trivial amount of money. You evil bastard. I will prosecute you for millions. What station did you get on at?"
Me "(gives name of station at bottom of M1) Honest, I bought a ticket there."
Numpty "All our stations have cctv. I will check and then prosecute you you thieving hippy scumbag."
Me "Crack on..."
5 mins of thumb twiddling....
Numpty "You are on cctv at (station at bottom of the M1) buying a ticket from the ticket machine"
Me "Damm right I am tube numpty"
Numpty "Go home while I curse the evils of cctv"
Ha.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 2:43, 1 reply)
our train ticket inspectors are numpties tooOnce I was caught on a train without a ticket, I tried explaining that the ticket machine at Austinmer was broken and if they would just call the station master he would confirm this fact and that he had told me to get the train anyway and that he would sort out any problems I had.
This started a 20 min. arguement.
It wasn't so much that they didn't believe the machine was not working, they didn't believe that there was such a place as "Austinmer" and if there was, it certainly didn't have a station.
I ended up having to make them call Sydney Central to ascertain that Austinmer exsisted before they would call Austimer to find out the machine was broken.
By which time I had wasted nearly an hour and was late for a test.
fucking state rail numpties.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 5:32, closed)
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