Stupidest crime ever
In the middle of summer last year, I decided to go to my local chippy, since I couldn’t be arsed cooking. Place was kinda busy and I’d ordered Chinese stuff (as opposed to just chips n stuff), so I knew I was in for a bit of a wait. Since it was one fo the few warm days, I stood in the doorway, looking out into the street.

While I was stood there, two Traffic Wardens pull up in their scooters, having spotted a shitty, battered Ford Orion that was parked on the zig-zags of the pelican crossing adjacent to the chippy. As they are writing their tickets, horrible chavvy Manc bloke comes flying out of the door to the flat above the chippy, having seen his car about to get a ticket and starts arguing with the wardens, quite loudly, since he was clearly a good few Stellas into his night.

The traffic wardens around here must have panic buttons of some description, since neither of them used their radios but, within a few minutes, a police car pulls up and a couple of members of the local constabulary pile out. Bloke starts arguing with them as well.

I start paying more attention at this point, as it was getting really interesting. Guy is getting more and more wound up, especially when one of the coppers starts throwing around phrases like “it’s not taxed or insured” and “confiscate it” and “we’ll crush it”. Guy is really wound up at this point and a police van pulls up, blue lights and all, disgorging half a dozen of Manchester’s finest. Guy is obviously about to get nicked.

Now comes the stupid crime:
As all this is going on (and don’t forget, there is now two traffic warden scooters, a police car and a police van, with it’s lights on, in the road and about a dozen coppers and two traffic wardens stood on the pavement), a woman pulls up and parks across the pedestrian crossing and runs into the newsagents next door to the chippy. This actually brought the row that was going on with the Orion owner to a complete halt as they all stared at this woman and her illegally parked car.

My Chinese arrived at that point, but I hung around long enough to hear one of the coppers explain to the woman why she was getting a £60 fine and three points on her licence.
(ScousersPet, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 9:33, 3 replies)

hahaha
excellent, she must have been on another planet. *clicks*
( Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 9:39, closed)

superb
that's the sort of stupidity I can get behind
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 10:04, closed)

Ha
Well written, like an answer with a twist
(Bluffboy South Africa! World Champions!!!, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 13:05, closed)