Bar Room Battles
.
Due to my penchant for the odd pint I've witnessed, and been in, quite a few bar room brawls. But my favourite happened in Redcar, North East England.

Redcar is rough but, the place I was based, Eston, is even rougher. It's the sort of area where anyone with more than one ear is a cissy.

Anyways. I was staying directly across the road from where I worked in. It was a pub. A *really* rough pub and the downstairs bar was populated with some of the finest knuckle-draggers you've ever seen.

But I can fit into almost any environment and I was soon a regular and could be found propping up the bar after work. I got to know a lot of the local meatheads and they soon found out I was a computer consultant and they soon found out I'd fix their systems for beer. So it soon became a regular fixture, me at one of the tables happily de-porning systems ( me missus will kill me...), removing virii and spyware and installing cracked software for them.

So all was well with the world. Then, one night , there was a pool match with another pub and it kicked off. A massive bar-room brawl with cues being used as clubs, chairs and tables flying across the room (often accompanied by flying teeth) and fists, boots and heads being used with abandon.

The bar staff just scuttled to the safety of the lounge bar and soon I was the only spectator - literally, everyone in the bar was involved in the fight. Of course this couldn't last for long and a meathead, having dispatched his opponent, by throwing him through the toilet doors, came looking for his next victim. Me.

He saw me standing alone at the bar and started to run across the room towards me. I saw him and did my famed "deer in the headlights" impression and prepared to defend myself when a mighty roar came across the room.

"DON'T TOUCH THE GEEK!!!!"

It was the head hardman. The hardman's hardman and I'd fixed his machine for him several times and he didn't want anyone interfering in his free computer support.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sat 16 Feb 2008, 0:49, 10 replies)

Fantastic.
I woke my mum up with the laughter.

*clicketyclickclick*
(hypnoticme is an anarcho-syndicalist commune, Sat 16 Feb 2008, 1:47, closed)

Def. a click there
Arf!
( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Sat 16 Feb 2008, 8:20, closed)

Quality
*click*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Sat 16 Feb 2008, 11:49, closed)

Geekpower!
w00t!
( MadAdamUk was last alive on, Sat 16 Feb 2008, 13:44, closed)

I remember hearing this one
from you in the flesh - still made me chortle to read it

*fuckin' click ya bastaad*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sat 16 Feb 2008, 14:12, closed)

*rofl*
legend pal..that gets a clicky.
(Lord Monkey of Yorkshire,OBE killed a gipsy on...., Sat 16 Feb 2008, 20:22, closed)

Redcar, Redcar...
Lovely place. I had to go there for a meeting a few weeks ago.

I got lost on the fucking way out. Drove round probably the roughest estate I'v ever been on in my entire life before I found a sign pointing to Middlesbrough.

Never thought I'd be so fucking happy to be going to Middlesbrough...*





*Actually it's not that bad - got a good mate in 'Boro. I just thought I'd pander to the stereotype.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 16 Feb 2008, 21:00, closed)

You fabulous bastard...
I can't remove the mental image of this from my head, and I commend the genius of having the roughest bastard in the pub guarding your arse simply for free computer stuffs.

Perhaps a closet geek himself, no?
(HomeWithTheDownies A towering inferno of penisy pleasure, Sun 17 Feb 2008, 0:31, closed)

I know the look!
I had a deer in my headlights tonight in fact! Just about 45 minutes ago. I didnt hit her, but someone else had. And she was bad. So I screeched to a halt and called 911 for emergency services, then baby say (deer sat?) her until the rozzers arrived. Poor little girl.
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Sun 17 Feb 2008, 6:11, closed)

Don't Touch The Geek!
You get a click just for that..


*click*
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Sun 17 Feb 2008, 19:15, closed)