The world's crappest gang fight?
Some of you possibly aren't old enough to remember C.B. (citizen's band) radio. A bit like the internet of its day; lots of strangers talking shit to each other and serving very little pratical purpose. It was for a while very popular. The events below took place in about 92/93. C.B. was fairly out-dated even then, but still had a loyal following amoungst certain types.

My friend P. was a bit of a tech-nerd and so had a radio rigged up in his car. One thursday night, with nothing better to do, we went for a drive and ended up at a scenic car park/viewpoint in Reigate Hill, about 10 miles from where we lived. Anyone who knows the M25/Surrey towns areas will know that this place is hardly South Central L.A.

So anyway, there we were in this car park, somking a few ciggies, and sipping some whisky. (Obviously P. wasn't drinking, being the driver.) Just being mellow and talking bollocks about girls, films and all the usual. P. puts on the C.B. to see if the locals have anything interesting to say. Flicking around the channels we come across some very busy exchanges, lots of people talking about "the meet" as well as people calling each other all sorts of names. The signals were local and getting stronger. These chaps who were all threatining violence upon each other were obviously mobile, and getting nearer.

I found the thought of conflict between rival C.B. gangs quite amusing. The West Side Breakers Vs the East Side (of Reigate)Aerials?
Not exactly the Bloods and the Crips.

Suddenly about eight cars skidded dramatically into the car park from both entrances, meeting in a circle in the middle. About twenty fellas got out and started scrapping. The C.B. rivals had chosen our quiet location to settle their differences. The fighting was pathetic. A missed kick followed by running away, a swing that misses by miles leaving the guy who throws it facing the wrong way etc., real playground stuff. P. and I watched trying to stifle our laughter.

A white Ford Cortina (those were the days) sped into the car park and the driver jumped out, his right arm in the air.

"Gun!" someone shouted.

Fuck, this made things a little more serious. The combatants scattered and cars sped in every direction. The gunman's white Cortina reversed quickly, its engine screaming and stopped directly behind P's Maestro, boxing us in. The driver looked at us. As dodgy as this situation had turned, I was still amused by the comic display of gang violence we had witnessed and had trouble taking it all seriously. I spoke to P.

"Quick. Fellate me. He'll think we're just a pair of fruits having a little fun."

P., being a more serious kinda chap than me, didn't find my suggestion funny and just sat in his seat turning more and more pale.

After 20 or 30 seconds Cortina Gunboy realised we were nothing to do with the fight and drove off leaving us.

We drove round scanning the airwaves, the word on the C.B. was that it was just a starter pistol.

Fucking anoraks.

Still, an interesting night out.

Sorry for the long read.
( sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Sun 17 Feb 2008, 20:42, 3 replies)

"Quick. Fellate me. He'll think we're just a pair of fruits having a little fun."
I'll have to use that as a diversion next time I'm in a sticky situation... classic...
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Mon 18 Feb 2008, 11:45, closed)

Let me know if it works.
If so, I may use it again.
( sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Mon 18 Feb 2008, 14:56, closed)

Aaaah... CB Radio
Those were the days. Until the bastards legalised it and ruined for everyone.

I have many a tale to tell about people I met via CB. I even have it to thank for the loss of my virginity.

New QOTW anyone?
(MadBouncyDog Barking at the moon since, Mon 18 Feb 2008, 23:30, closed)