Hairy Crime Fighter
I live in Hong Kong. Once upon a time I was wrapping myself round some of the merchandise at KFC (yes, I know, I should have been eating local food. But I was having beers that night, and, well, noodles don't hit the spot in the same way as a zinger burger). All was sweetness and light as the grease trickled slowly into my waiting gullet when there was a rumpus.

My fellow patrons looked up from their "chicken" to see what was happening. One Chinaman (Chinaman A) seemed to be hitting another Chinaman (Chinaman B) with, in what was a stroke of brilliance, a "slippery when wet" board. Chinaman B parried all the moves fairly effortlessly, which seemed to drive Chinaman A into a Rumplestiltskin-like, foot-stamping fury.

Knowing that the local Hong Kongers don't really go in for intervention, and that the fight was ruining business, I thought I'd try to settle the fracas myself, so I stood up and shouted "Oi."

Now, I was the only gweilo (foreigner) in the place, and, more pertinently, had a big handlebar moustache. I'm a fairly wee chap, but both brawlers were so shocked at the introduction of the exotic facial hair that they stopped, stared and then proceeded to buy some criss-cut fries. There was no more trouble after that.
(I grew it myself, Mon 18 Feb 2008, 14:17, 3 replies)

Handlebar moustache...
...why...your either gay or an RAF wing commander.
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Feb 2008, 14:26, closed)

or
he's really the biker from The Village People, in which case can I have an autograph?
(Guilt wants to get in your moist confines, Mon 18 Feb 2008, 14:37, closed)

keep the 'tache
it may have mystical peace-keeping properties... :)
(Reverend Samson Fapohunda B3tan, B3tan, B3tan, B3tan, Mon 18 Feb 2008, 15:57, closed)