"You stupid fucking cunt. I fucking hate you sometimes. Fuck off over there."
We were doing a pub quiz. Me, my older brother, and our three best friends. The best bit of the quiz was out of the way (coming up with a team name), and we were getting down to the real issues of answering things wrong and arguing about who should have the pen.
A question was asked to which I knew the answer – this was about the fourth in a row that only I had known, for once. I forget what it was, but it was a sufficient mouthful to not even bother trying to whisper to a quartet of angry Yorkshire drunkards brimming with resentment. I asked my brother for the pen so I could write it myself.

"Fucking have it then."

Tongue popping out of the corner of my mouth, I started to write:
"b …"

Immediately I was halted in my tracks by an explosion of noise from my team-mates. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT YOU FUCKING WANKER!" "YOU JOEY FUCKING SPASTIC CUNT!" "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING DOING!" "NUR, NUR ,NUR MY NAME'S RETARD FUCKING CUNT SPLAT FUCK FACE!" "GIMME THE FUCKING PEN BACK YOU CACK-HANDED FUCKING DICK" All of this was accompanied by much belming and 'spaz hands'.

Apparently I write the letter 'b' starting from the wrong point.

Quizzes. Serious business.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 16:48, 4 replies)

I'm guessing you started from the loop of the b
You freak!
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 17:05, closed)

Yup!
Their reaction really was hysterically over the top, though. I thought about running out in floods of fake tears, and writing a suicide note for them to find later, composed using only words beginning with 'b'.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 18:27, closed)

I do that with my 'd's
but not with my 'b's...
( ..wil, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 17:13, closed)

"writing", is that the thing where you put marks on paper?
I never did get the hang of that. Thankfully these thingies came along with keys on them so I don't really have to do it much any more.
I think not being able to write has to be a big factor in my choosing IT as a job.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 17:35, closed)

how often do you type checques?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 19:54, closed)

Well, who the fuck writes checques (or cheques even) these days?

(Iggy Pop's Teeth, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 20:54, closed)

me, for a start

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 23:31, closed)

I do this when I write a '6'
starting from the curly middle bit instead of the at the top. I thought it was perfectly normal but apparently people get freaked out by it.

Ho hum.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 18:36, closed)