K2K6 reminds me...
Years back I was at a family do in one of the local village halls. Having quaffed a fair bit of ale, the call of nature took hold and I nipped off to the gents. Just as I was about to release the flow, Uncle Ted (actually my ex mother in law's uncle, but everyone called him Uncle ted anyway) stepped up to the plate beside me, as it were, and began chatting to me about what a great night this was and how much he was enjoying the party.

Talking and pissing at the same time didn't seem to be part of Uncle Ted's repertoire, unfortunately, as I became acutely aware of a rhythmic yet powerful drumming on my right foot, accompanied by a slight dampness creeping up the corresponding leg of my trousers. I didn't dare look down for fear of catching sight of what I knew would be his knob pointing lazily in the direction of my legs instead of the trough as uncle Ted looked sideways at me, still in jolly conversation mode, instead of concentrating on the job in hand. Quite why I didn't simply shuffle along a few inches I don't know; paralysed with incredulity, I should think.

I really wish I'd gone to that party in my customary black Docs and black jeans. Quite why I was possessed to wear a pair of burgundy coloured boots and cream coloured pants I'll never know, but I spent the next hour sat with my legs and feet hidden under a table until I dried out, as my ex and her mum ripped the Michael out of me for having had Uncle Ted piss all over me.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 15:44, 8 replies)

There are Germans who pay for that kinda thing you know

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 15:50, closed)

The filthy perverts.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 15:53, closed)

may ' ' be they are just bored!

(waxdart hello., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 15:54, closed)

The lady doth protest too much
so when was the first time you pissed on another humans genitals?
( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 15:59, closed)

I didn't do the pissing
and it was a bit higher :)
(waxdart hello., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 16:17, closed)

So you had someone piss in your mouth?
Not into that myself but whatever floats your boat.

Are you German by any chance?
( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 16:20, closed)

bored so bored

(waxdart hello., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 16:44, closed)

he was marking his territory
technically, this means you're his bitch now
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 20:51, closed)