A fishy tale...
On one of my first ever business trips to that London, I ended up in a swish French restaurant with my boss and his boss.
I figured I'd try the trout as I'd never had it before.
You can imagine my surprise when the waiter brought me a whole fuken fish! I mean - how are you supposed to eat the bastards?
Once I'd cut it's head off a solution presented itself to me - just continue making vertical slices down the length of its body.
So I did. Then I shoved each slice in my mouth and ate it - bones and all.
Either my gaffers were as ignorant as I was, or they were both excellent poker players; because neither of them even cracked a smile.

Incidentally, I now know how to do it properly; but a friend once remarked, "That's not a meal - it's a friggin' dissection!"

Length - getting on for a foot.
(minimalist ..., Tue 20 Jul 2010, 0:17, 10 replies)

hahaha
Sounds like an experience. Eating the bones?!
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 7:45, closed)

...bones?

Yep!
It wasn't a whole load of fun. I seem to recall discretely fishing large clumps, usually attached to a chunk of vertebra, out of my mouth and depositing them on the side of the plate.

Oh the shame - christ alone knows that this whole performance must have looked like!

o_O
(minimalist ..., Tue 20 Jul 2010, 10:53, closed)

Yeah how'd you get on with bones?
I thought trout was riddled with them...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 9:15, closed)

They are, most of which I chewed and swallowed as they're quite fine (though not at all like the bones in sardines, which is what I'd hoped for), but see reply above.

I certainly wouldn't recommend this method of eating the buggers!
(minimalist ..., Tue 20 Jul 2010, 10:57, closed)

This is something I need to know.
I have four whole trout in my fridge ready for me to do fabulous culinary work on them tonight.

It sort-of defeats the purpose if 1) I cry because they have faces and 2) I can't actually figure out how to eat them.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 12:34, closed)

I was taught to do it as follows:
(I assume fish has been cooked and is orientated like this O++++< with belly towards you)

1) Make vertical cut behind gill-slit.
2) Make vertical cut in front of tail.
3) Slide tip of knife horizontally along 'lateral line' (this is a visible line, that runs the length of the body, about halfway down).
4) Ease off the skin (top-half away from you, bottom-half towards you).
5) Gently pull the bottom-half of the flesh towards you and consume.
6) Gently ease (lift & push) the top-half of the flesh away from you and consume.
7) Flip it over and repeat for the other side.

Done properly you should end up with a 'cartoon' fish: a head and a tail, connected by a skeleton.

Alternatively, you could try this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5IZ2BOCBgA
(minimalist ..., Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:17, closed)

trout = ergh, mud taste.

(waxdart hello., Tue 20 Jul 2010, 16:10, closed)

'Tis simple.
Hold the fish still with your fork and place the blade of your knife along the length of the backbone. Press down slightly and pull the knife away from the backbone; the flesh of the whole side of the fish in question should pull away, and since you're moving with the 'grain' of the bones, the meat should slide smoothly over them and leave you with a fish 'steak' that you can then enjoy. Repeat the process in the other direction for the other side, and flip the fish over to get at the meat underneath.

Then, when you've finished, and if you're like I was the last time I had whole fish at a fancy dinner, when I was flush with wine and feeling like a flash bastard, you can curl the fish skeleton into a heart shape on your plate.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:37, closed)

Fishy love

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 16:36, closed)

Pet hate of mine...
... especially with a lot of seafood, is that you end up faffing about with bones, shells, etc.

FFS, surely the point of a restaurant is that you pay for the chef to do all that!
(Neil_E_There didn't the Aussies used to be good at cricket?, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:10, closed)