probably the most spectacular dumping I've ever had
I came back from work on the day after my birthday, opened the front door and...

All her stuff was gone. And all my DVD's. And a post it note on my computer.

And that's how I learnt I was getting divorced.

After she moved out though, she refused to return the keys to the flat. So whilst I was at work she kept coming back, taking things she felt like keeping, switched on my computer, copied files she wanted, hacked my email account, read all my emails for a few months (good thing I knew she was doing this, so got a few offline friends to participate in a Mega Bullshit stream), tried and failed to hack into my other email accounts, tried to screw over and empty the joint bank account, then served me with divorce papers proclaiming I was a pornography addicted wifebeater into a swinging lifestyle.

The day before she left we'd had a row because she thought that a birthday card from my Dad was from one of the thousands of women I was suppsoed to be having an affair with. Needless to say, I'd had enough of that bullshit.

Before she left mind you, she used to ring up all my female friends whenever I was working late to make sure I wasn't up to my nuts in guts with them, reckoned I was sleeping with at least 3 women regularly, thought that when I went to work I was actually having orgies with Everyone In South London, and was generally a weirdo living in cloudcuckooland. Oh, and on top of this, she didn't have a job for a year before she left so cost me thousands of pounds as I paid the bills because someone had to.

She would also regularly disappear for hours at a time, with a male friend, before moving in with him. Hmm. Affair, anyone?

Oh, and she was a drunk driver and once fell asleep hungover whilst driving on the motorway. She was also a former Coke Addict who'd been on the gak for a few years previous but apparently now cleaned up.

Secretly I was hoping she would leave, but my God, what a way to be dumped. It was like a bad BBC2 sitcom. Still no doubt she has been putting out for England ever since, unlucky bastards that they are, but tonight "thank god its them instead of you".

So there you go, in one day I lost a wife, a computer, a lot of CD's, some of my clothes, all my DVD's, and the hope of ever seeing several thousand pounds ever again. I really wish I had been a pornography addicted, wifebeating philanderer, but I still wouldn't've got my money's worth out of that dumb waste of pubic hair.
(domesticterrorist, Thu 17 Jun 2004, 21:59, Reply)