Yay! Ladies think I suck
I've been dumped a few times. Maybe this should tell me something, but I am a man & therefore refuse to learn any lessons from life.

1) I had been living with my girlfriend for about a year or so. As far as I was concerned all was hunky dory. One day I get a call, asking if I'd like to go for lunch. I did. I was informed that she as moving out (blah), needed space (blah). I was somehwat surprised as I had been ridden most enthusiastically that morning. I sulked a bit. She then removed my bed, a bunch of cds & some clothes. I also got a phone call three days later enquiring if i'd found anyone else, which I hadn't. She had. I also got phone calls over the next few months which went thus: "Tee hee hee. Guess who i've slept with". Mad bint. She also worked in a record shop. So why teh feck did she steal my CDs? Eh? I ask you.

2) I had begun to see a lovely young lady for a couple of months. I enquired one evening if she'd like to go for dinner that Friday night coming. 'No' Said she. 'Oh. Ok. Why?' said I. 'I'm packing'. I enquired as to the nature of said packing. 'Oh, I'm going to Australia for a year on Monday. I've been wondering how to tell you'. 'Australia?' Said I. 'Aye' said not I. Bint, she was. Saw her on one of those stupid tv house makeover programs living in a dive with a right twat. w00.

3) Was dumped by woman once for terrible crime of not liking the mediocre Pacino flick 'Insomnia' as much as her. This was a terrible crime along the lines as such heinous acts as only taking her to Rome for her birthday, not Barcelona, despite her never having had anything but positive things to say about Rome. Well, she continued to abuse me for any difference of opinions form her. Was uttely bintish. After dumping spent about 2 months decrying my cock size & sexual performance (despite the fact she screamed so much my flat mates cringed in their own rooms). She worked on the basis that if she destroyed my self esteem, I'd get so desperate I'd take her back. No chance. She then decided her only course of action was to move to Belize. This was obviously entirely my fault. She also had made up her own name & voted Tory. I do pick 'em.

I will not apologise for length. The lack of same may have been a problem with the above ladies.
(Lord of the Pies, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 12:32, Reply)