I liked the time when someone linked to his profile with videos of him having a wank on some website.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 16:20, archived)

Nothing screams 'Attractive Non-Desperate Person' more than filming yourself having a wank and sticking it online
It's so suave.
( Theoban What of it, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 16:21, archived)