You could just crawl back to your parents' house, claim dole and mope about your room.
Then, if the government's new scheme comes in, they'll create a job for you after 12 months.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:57, archived)

What's this?
How can they "create" a job out of nowhere?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:58, archived)

It's a job or a training place.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:00, archived)

Oh.
They sent me to "training places". They were about as much use as a fridge in the Antarctic.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:01, archived)

A fridge would be useful in the Antarctic if you wanted to store something at between 0 and 5 degrees Celsius mind

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:03, archived)

no it wouldn't.
you'd have to run the pump backwards, and it would struggle to maintain anything like that kind of temperature gradient. And that's if the exchange fluid doesn't just freeze.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:05, archived)

Unless of course it was inside a heated building.
Like most fridges in the world are
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:21, archived)

but it wouldn't be,
because it would be in the Antarctic. Like I said.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:26, archived)

Maybe in your hypothetical scenario
But not in mine
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:44, archived)

My metaphor,
my hypothetical scenario.
Jeez, I should have said chocolate fireguard, that would have attracted less criticism, despite the fact it has one very obvious use.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:46, archived)

You could use the heat exchanger
as a source of warmth. Having plugged it in to one of those Antarctic plugs.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:03, archived)

Only if it were somewhere warm, of course. Inside, maybe.
With the plugs.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:04, archived)

or an air-conditioning unit where the outlet exhausts into the same room it's supposed to be cooling.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:03, archived)

Training places aren't meant to be useful.
They're meant to look like somebody somewhere is doing something useful.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:06, archived)

they're meant to get you off benefits for 13 weeks,
so it looks like nobody has been on them for more than however long they like, but the money still comes from the same place, only under a different budget.

EXCEPT they still kept me on 10p of JSA a week, otherwise I'd have lost my housing benefit and free prescriptions, so it's all completely pointless anyway.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:08, archived)

This is what I thought.
It was on the news a week or two ago, and they offered no explanation.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:00, archived)

I don't want to do that.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:02, archived)

best get a job then.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:09, archived)

Yeah
but I'm applying for scholarships first.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:09, archived)

MSc or PhD?
They're usually desperate for people to do postgrad stuff, the money burns a hole in their pockets.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:10, archived)

Ph.D
Here if I can.

The topic I want to do is done Bristol, Here, Glasgow and Southampton, as well as amsterdam and some places in germany.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 7 May 2009, 20:14, archived)