I've got loads of friends, am going to get a good degree from a top 10 uni, a boyfriend, a job, a house, a lovely family and some pretty shoes.
What am I doing on the internet?
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:21, archived)

Limey, don't leave yourself open like that!
I actually had to stop myself from writing something bitchy, and I'm nice.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:23, archived)

*joke about leaving yourself open*
meh, think it up yourself.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:24, archived)

OPEN FOR RAPE THAT IS!

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:25, archived)

I can only assume that Sexface is either dead or busy playing his mp3s to almost four people on internet radio

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:27, archived)

He's too busy wanking over webcam to rape me, :*(

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:28, archived)

Oh I know. It's a joke innit.
I'm a fat ugly internet bird like the rest deep down.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:32, archived)

Aaaah, we're all useless attention whores
Otherwise we'd be watching telly. Telly doesn't judge, but then it doesn't have JMG.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:35, archived)

And it no longer has gorgeous Phil from Durham who I have a secret crush on.
Don't tell anyone.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 9 May 2009, 2:36, archived)

I won't... it'll be a secret between you, me and the internets

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Sat 9 May 2009, 2:43, archived)