True story
This mongy kid used to hang around the station, he wanted to work on the railway but is that stupid he has trouble walking and breathing at the same time. Once a bloke asked him to nip round to Morrisons to get him some fags, just to get the cunt away for a few minutes. Billy asked him what sort he wanted. Bensons was the answer. But what if they didn't have those? Anything would do. So he came back with a pork pie.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:56, archived)

mongy bloke where I used to work had terrible bowel trouble
One day he crapped himself in the warehouse. Someone stepped in it and skidded (lol skidded) backwards and broke his arm.
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:00, archived)

I bet he laughed like a drain for days

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:01, archived)