I vote this
for being the most mental QOTW answer yet :

... so when I was in Year 5, when the nasty girl in our class started shoving me out of the way in the cloak room, I punched her so hard in the mouth that her teeth bled and nearly fell out.

I might sound like the mean one here, but she really deserved it.

She cried and the headmaster came in, but being a very traditional schoolmaster-ish kind of guy, he listened to both our stories and ruled in my favour. Not only was she on liquids for a week, but she also got detention.

Recently I heard that she's now a member of the labour party.

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

Was that posted by Pickle Fairy?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

Well, she's clearly not shown in the best light there

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 15 May 2009, 10:47, archived)