If I could be arsed to rip my old shows I'd send them to you.
Eight year old political satire from a country you don't know much about would knock you RIGHT out.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:12, archived)

So would a mallet to the back of the head.

( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:13, archived)

Well yes, but "purely democratic means" these days.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:14, archived)

Perhaps people voting for which type of hammer I should use?
I suspect a lump hammer would win on a swing vote.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

If you're going to hit a man on the hand with a lump hammer you need to put the hand in a plastic bag first.
/top tips I wish I didn't know
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

Also, while you should maintain a reasonably firm grip,
don't grip the hammer too hard or you'll get a fuckload of blisters.

/used to work in a furniture factory
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:29, archived)

I'll bear this in mind when I'm making my own furniture.
Again. Fucking panel pins.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:30, archived)

Believe me, it's a very handy hint if you've got 60-odd staircases to put together by the end of the day.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:32, archived)

Do you have fairy hands?
Blisters from tapping in panel pins? You're doing it wrong.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:34, archived)

You did punishment beatings in a furniture factory?
Young people these days, etc.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:30, archived)