I have a two thousand word newsletter to rewrite before bed, and I'm canvassing at half seven in the morning.
Why shouldn't you be here right now?
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:07, archived)

i've got a quiz/maths challenge i need to complete for tomorrow that about 10% done.
EDIT: by which i mean i'm making one, not trying to do one.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:08, archived)

Put in that question about what age they are.
You know, the brothers.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:09, archived)

Sadly, it's just simple sums.

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:10, archived)

Yeah, this one is sums.
One of them was twice the age of the other two years ago, but now they're twins.

Or something.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:13, archived)

1. 1+1
2. 1+2
3. 2+2
4. 2+3
5. 3+3
6. 3+4
7. 4+4
8. 4+5
9. 5+5
10. 5+6

The clever bit is that you don't even have to calculate the answers yourself when checking! It's always the number of the next question. Apart from number 10. I haven't worked that one out yet.
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:16, archived)

11.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:18, archived)

543678 + Anus.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:13, archived)

Ha! it spells "Boobless"

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

= something about your mum.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

adverts mostly

( MrA, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:08, archived)

Good answer.
Really.
I'm impressed.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:10, archived)

Might get a phonecall from one of several agencies first thing tomorrow morning,
telling me whether I'm going to be working in Stanley, Pudsey or Doncaster, and when I need to be there.

This is only a matter of concern if the answer to latter is "right now".
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:09, archived)

Are these the kind of "agencies" that give you a polaroid photo and a briefcase with a sniper rifle in it?
Because if so you'll need to sort out a private pension plan.
Trust me on this one.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:11, archived)

I can't sleep
Even listening to an old radio show of mine won't send me to sleep.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:11, archived)

If I could be arsed to rip my old shows I'd send them to you.
Eight year old political satire from a country you don't know much about would knock you RIGHT out.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:12, archived)

So would a mallet to the back of the head.

( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:13, archived)

Well yes, but "purely democratic means" these days.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:14, archived)

Perhaps people voting for which type of hammer I should use?
I suspect a lump hammer would win on a swing vote.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

If you're going to hit a man on the hand with a lump hammer you need to put the hand in a plastic bag first.
/top tips I wish I didn't know
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

Also, while you should maintain a reasonably firm grip,
don't grip the hammer too hard or you'll get a fuckload of blisters.

/used to work in a furniture factory
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:29, archived)

I'll bear this in mind when I'm making my own furniture.
Again. Fucking panel pins.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:30, archived)

Believe me, it's a very handy hint if you've got 60-odd staircases to put together by the end of the day.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:32, archived)

Do you have fairy hands?
Blisters from tapping in panel pins? You're doing it wrong.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:34, archived)

You did punishment beatings in a furniture factory?
Young people these days, etc.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:30, archived)

I should be writing an essay on employment law.
I have to keep stopping to do other things or I'll start chewing my arm off through boredom.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:13, archived)

Now come on. Employment law is interesting.
I'm helping out a chap who got assaulted by his shop steward.
That's pretty interesting.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:14, archived)

I take it he won't be accompanied by a union rep during the resulting grievance meeting?
Its not as bad as the integrated human resources management essay I've just finished, but I've had about enough for this year.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:16, archived)

I'm not going into too much on this one, for obvious reasons.
But I'm quite happy with it.
I'm quite in favour of trades unions, which means I hate the corrupt fuckers, and right now we're about to run a big gang of them right out their industry.

Which I'd class as a good result.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:18, archived)

Excellent.
Can you do the MPs next?
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

We ran all those cunts out of here in 1922.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:24, archived)

I would second this. I hate corrupt stewards.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:22, archived)

But the great thing is, when they fuck up, they fuck up OBVIOUS.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:24, archived)

i should be eating and drining in that soho
but i was a lazy cunt so
meh
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 18 May 2009, 0:13, archived)

Poor show, here.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:14, archived)

it's truely terrible
apparently drining is the next teabagging
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 18 May 2009, 0:23, archived)

Just under one sixth of my degree is being assessed tomorrow and Tuesday and I don't know enough.
Fuck me.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:17, archived)

I've someone far nicer to fuck at home right now.
But thanks anyway.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

Go to sleep.
You do know it you're just stressing.

A good night's sleep and an excellent breakfast with a read through your notes tomorrow morning will see you right love.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 18 May 2009, 1:01, archived)

Because I,
unlike you, just FINISHED what I had to do this evening. An entire weekend spent researching the UN, no sleep last night and 10000 words later i really am worse for wear.
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:25, archived)

Why waste all weekend researching when you could have asked me?
I'm an expert.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:27, archived)

on UNODC and the convention against transnational organised crime?
Including its three protocolls and what effects it's had?

If so, well,

fuck.
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:29, archived)

Precisely that sort of thing.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:29, archived)

Well anyway
what I was mostly doing is trying to find decent sources. As you would imagine, hard to come by when you're writing about organised crime from different regions around the globe.

God, I hate that kind of research with a passion.
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:32, archived)