"I would do horrible things to your vagina"
That's a keeper.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 19 May 2009, 0:52, archived)

The other section's funny too.
textsfromlastnight.com/worst-nights/

"507): I want your puppy
(507): I meant pussy
(612): I would rather you take my puppy "

...TOLD
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 19 May 2009, 0:53, archived)

(781): btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 19 May 2009, 0:55, archived)

"not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her "
ouch
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Tue 19 May 2009, 0:56, archived)

Owned

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 19 May 2009, 1:00, archived)

XD
(770): Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
(404): Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
(770): Fuck. Wron person. But yea
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 19 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

(603): I puked a lego.
winner.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Tue 19 May 2009, 1:14, archived)