I ALWAYS just ask for money.
simple, no shit presents.

I don't like birthdays much. I love attention but undeserved attention makes me feel really awkward.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

I deserve attention.
My wife and parents got me stuff I wanted. But that's because I went out and bought it for them.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

I only ever want easy stuff.
My family write lists and we get whatever is on there.

All of the things I like I can't trust people to get. If I say 'An Xbox Game' I'll get a shit one, same goes for 'Martial Arts DVD'

One girlfriend bought me martial arts DVDs as presents as I was buying her designer goods. They were all ones that I had on display in my bedroom too. I basically got backup copies of my DVD collection...
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

If I ask my parents for anything specific,
there are only two possible outcomes:
1. they'll find some cheap and nasty imitation of what I asked for that they are convinced is "the exact same" and that you're only paying for the brand name,
2. they'll not manage to find it on sale anywhere so instead get me something completely irrelevant to everything in the entire world. Like a battery-powered perpetual motion machine or some thermal mittens from Hawkshead, and then deny that I ever said I don't like Hawkshead.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

I always get money,
I don't ask for it I just get it anyway out of habit. My Nanna makes me feel kind of guilty every time, because she always demands to know what I've spent my money on, and I haven't spent it on anything because I don't want anything and I'd rather just keep the money just in case I need it some day.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:45, archived)