I was almost the King Of England.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

I almost jumped 500 tortoises
on my Raleigh Grifter.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

I almost conquered Mars.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)