I almost got to fuck the Fun House twins when I was thirteen.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

fuck off back to QOTW

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

WANK WEDNESDAY

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

No, you didn't.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

Yes I did.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

By "almost"
you mean a well planned rape that went unexecuted ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

Almost is basically a misdirectional synonym for "didn't".
Like when my wife says "You ALMOST hit that other car." And I say, "YES, SO THERE'S NO FUCKING PROBLEM THEN, IS THERE? SHUT UP WITH YOUR FUCKING BACK SEAT DRIVING."
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

And Freddy adds
"Dont cry mummy"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

If he ever does, I'll slap the shit out of the little cunt.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

Good plan
a little bloodletting is good for children, it calms them down.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

p.s.
you are a TERRIBLE parent.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

No, you didn't.
Don't make me get the Magenta Accord of Internet Justice.

Why would the twins want to shag a spectacled lump of acne with his hand constantly down the front of his trousers?
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

Rohypnol
It has ALL teh charm.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

Yes I did.
I almost fucked them both with my cock.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

That's it. You MADE me do this Balders.
Time for the Accord!
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

Weren't they boys?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

Until I made them MEN.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

No.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

You settled for Pat Sharp instead?
One of my life long ambitions when i was young was to do the fun cart Grand Prix
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

Dude
you really reached for the stars there.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

Failed to do it as well
What does that say about me?
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

I once saw pat sharpe's hair in a shop in town

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

a e
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

Pet Sherpe's heir?

( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

Yes
What of it ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

Just checking.

( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

I was almost the King Of England.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

I almost jumped 500 tortoises
on my Raleigh Grifter.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

I almost conquered Mars.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)