There was a lad that went to our school who, to put it politely, was Fire-friendly.
Once tried to get out of P.E. by using a can of solvent and a lighter to melt his tatty trainers to the changing room floor.

He had to the run twice, barefoot, then help one of the cleaners prize his shoes off the floor.

This was the last time the school wittingly put him in charge of a solvent substance :(
( lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Sat 23 May 2009, 20:57, archived)