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Hello fatties.
TGB here. Let's all share our your tales of woe misery.

I'm very popular with the ladies. Online.
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:46, archived)
No.
No no no.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:47, archived)
See what I did there?
It's like I'm JMG!
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:48, archived)
LOOK!
Another one: b3ta.belm.co.uk/mrjimzgoestochurch

www.b3ta.com/talk/6178941
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:55, archived)
Fuck yes!

(I helped save b3ta! BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:56, archived)
YOU TERRIBLE ROTTEN BOOHOO NYOMNYOMNYOM!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 0:48, archived)
I'd never say "our".

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 0:48, archived)
Fixed.
You terrible comfort eater.
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:49, archived)
I have it on good authority that you are on the dole.
I'd like to go on to admit that I have absolutely no idea what you do for a living.
So using some kind of subtraction and colouring in, I've decided that you are on the dole.

Are on the dole.
You also repeat yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 0:52, archived)
Calm yourself.
Your back hair is managable. There's no need for this anti-TGB business. Online. :(
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:56, archived)
I managed to upset a b3tan last night with one post.
But good work here in the field.
*Firm handshakes*
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 0:58, archived)
One post!
Steady on, it's only my first night.

*high five*
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:59, archived)
Oh, look here.
More wobbling at TGB. Online.

I fear this may become a trend of sorts.
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:48, archived)
I'VE GOT YOU ON BLOCK. I CAN'T EVEN SEE YOU.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 0:49, archived)
What's the official JMG view on THE FOOTBALL?

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:50, archived)
If Park had followed in Ronaldo's free kick it would have been a completely different story.
Well played Barca, mind.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 0:51, archived)
The Badger View is that United were outclassed by Very Good Team Indeed.
I shall be writing to Roy Keane, in green crayon and FULL CAPS, that I'll be very disapointed indeed if we fail to bring Iniesta to Portman Road this summer.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:53, archived)
He's the whitest Spaniard ever.
I'd like to hear OTHER views on this.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 0:55, archived)
I'm told Mykey likes him.
Despite being a rugby man.

/Badger
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 28 May 2009, 0:59, archived)
I have just got over an awful infection
And now am sat here drunk, pondering
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:48, archived)
You ratio of posts to telling people you are drunk is rising.
I predict ROFL.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 28 May 2009, 0:49, archived)
Meh
I'm only ever on here whilst drunk these days, otherwise I'm o**line
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:52, archived)
PLEASE ATTEND AA MEETINGS

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:53, archived)
I don't drink THAT much thanks
I'm just unemployed. Living off what the fuckers owed me in tax
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:55, archived)
I read that as "dole-dossing benefit scrounger"

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:59, archived)
I just ate 140g of chocolate in only 10 minutes.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:01, archived)
is that a lot?

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:19, archived)
No idea, I was waiting to see if any fatties tried to outdo my made up feat.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:27, archived)
my girlfriend managed a kilo in two days,
but she is not fat at all.
in fact, TFD called her "very beautiful".
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:28, archived)
Yes, you keep telling us that.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:31, archived)
that is indeed what i am doing.

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:45, archived)
I wish
I do not receive a single benefit.

But overpayment of tax is quite common when on emergency rates, so I got that back
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:06, archived)
no no, this won't do
this won't do at all

I'm quite concerned by this new development
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:50, archived)
I'm making a really terrible JMG.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:56, archived)
i do not feel very well

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:58, archived)
*glees*

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:59, archived)
head bad :(

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:00, archived)
It's probably the poison.
You'll feel better in the next few hours, and then drop dead painlessly.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:02, archived)
with luck!

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:05, archived)
hello SSG

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:01, archived)
hello.
i feel worse you know.
it isn't ideal.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:19, archived)
Chin up, there.
Up the magpies. Lets gan dan the toon divent ya nar, etc.
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:02, archived)
god you're SO ARROGANT

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Thu 28 May 2009, 0:59, archived)
Lip up, fatty.

(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:02, archived)
no YOU lip up fatty

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:09, archived)
TGB bullying, online. :(

(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 28 May 2009, 1:13, archived)