There was a commuting bloke who would clear his throat every two seconds, but quietly and ineffectively.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like he had some serious phlegm but didn't want to offend his fellow passengers by coughing too loudly. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. He always sat behind me, and I'd want to stand up and scream in his face "CHRIST'S SAKE MAN, JUST HAVE A GOOD HACK AND AND SHUT UP!" Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. For the whole 25(+) minutes to Castleford.

I'd avoid the 16.34 for that reason alone.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 21:08, archived)

The fat mentals always seem to sit next to me
Thank christ for iPods.

*Cranks up the Mansun*
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 21:11, archived)

I am committed to the Audacity thing. I want to start a podcast of me scaring people off when they sit next to me on the bus or train.
I think I need some rules - thinking "no swearing, threats or sexual innuendo"... any other rules I need before I begin?
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

No impressions of Donald Pleasance.
as in www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vb00H6mCTM8&feature=related
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

Be racist at all times

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 21:15, archived)

I would just like to say
today I heard someone's phone, and the ring tone was Alan Partridge saying "I'm HUNG LIKE A DONKEY"
It rang several times, amid silent, bored commuters.
( vladimir, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 21:27, archived)