You forgot this
+ mockery from general public for shagging a ginger.

I may have secretly wanted to shag a ginger but never got the chance
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:51, archived)

He turned you down?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:56, archived)

down into a newt.

Yes
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 11:58, archived)