GRAVEL?
Luxury. We used to get hit over the head with a hammer and then eat the hammer.
( thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

we used to have to push a boulder up a mountain every morning, then jump off into a pit of hungry crocodiles... get eaten... get shit out again...
then we'd have to walk to the shop carrying a feast fit for a king with castor sugar all over our lips and if we licked them our entire family would be murdered in front of us and then I'd be towel whipped with their souls..

etc etc
(likeajackhammer, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

We used to have to
wake up at 3am every morning and be pushed through a press, then chopped into squares and heated to make us into those complementary towels you get on airplanes after your meal, then shipped round the world to be used on a transatlantic flight, before being disposed of and recycled AND THEN, and only then would we be given our meal, of 3 atoms of caesium.
BY GOD WE WERE LUCKY
( The Neville What what what, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)