they're really lethargic enemies
they use a slow-burn tactic where they ingratiate themselves towards you, then they come round at stupid times of the week, nick your favourite books, eat your food, and convince you that drinking alcohol makes you look cool when it doesn't, it just makes you look like a prick, and then you die of liver cancer and they laugh about it then fuck your girlfriend.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)

This.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 21:40, archived)

to be fair
she probably needs a decent shag after being with you
( CowJam, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 21:41, archived)