Back bacon
fried in a pan, but don't put any oil in until the water form the bacon has boiled away, thus crispy edges soft and tasty bacon.
Stuck between two slices of brown bread NO SAUCE, I would never sully the taste of bacon with sauce.
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:08, archived)

sometimes I like to let the fat soak into the bread and then I take the bacon out eat the bread
and then savour the bacon all on it's own.
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)

How's the diet going?
My missus thinks she's fat and started that Lighter Life shite, I should punch her quite a lot.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

Oh cripes
Lighter life is a terrible diet, it's very unhealthy and there was press a while ago that a few people died on it due to excessive intake of water. Plus they say you can keep it off once you've lost the weight, this is bollocks as you are deprived of everything yummy so when the diet finishes you can't tell me you won't want to go back to cakes and stuff. You're missus is not fat at all. Get her off that stupid diet.
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

I bullied her off it before and she knows my thoughts on the matter
Which is why the devious cow was skulking about not telling me about it this time. I merely sigh and try and feed her properly when I can. It's pork and beans today.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

The Woman went on that.
One day in and she felt sick, we rallied round and convinced her it was a stupid idea, and she agreed. And she's not even remotely rotund, the dizzy mare.
It's a horrific idea for a diet.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:16, archived)

It's shit
I might go and find the peddler of this wank and give her a good kicking
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

Lighter Life is TOXIC shit
Tell her she is beautiful and offer to go for long walks with her so she can get exercise.
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)

sigh...
We all know this stuff, but a neurotic middle aged woman is often not to be trifled with. She'll grow out of it, or her bank balance will.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

Give her lots of hugs and tell her how gorgeous she is
offer her pampering sessions at beauty parlours.

Lady needs a bit of an uplift methinks
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)