Right, that's enough of that helpful shit
What is the nicest bacon?
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:03, archived)

the kind that has been grilled and put in between two bits of bread (one buttered)
with some manner of sauce
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:04, archived)

Hot smoked? Cold smoked? Oak smoked?
Middle? Back? Streaky?

I MUST KNOW!

The bacons here are slabs of offcuts pressed together, they are WRONG!
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:06, archived)

i don't buy expensive bacon due to being poor and that
i usually make do with supermarket brand smoked
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:07, archived)

What?
As you are meant to be some kind of cultural ambassador I'm appalled that you haven't set them straight on this yet. The Queen shall hear of this.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:08, archived)

They have nice bacons
but it comes in packs of 4-6 slices and costs more than a months wage. Pork is WELL EXPENSIVE over here.
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

Can they not make sheep bacon?
They have plenty of them don't they.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:12, archived)

Actually you could be on to something there
I had beef-bacon in Malaysia, and it was NOM!
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

Really?
This is an interesting turn of events. I've had cured beef recently and I was not too impressed, I'd be more impressed by cow bacon I think.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:16, archived)

It was lovely, different from pork bacon
but lush in it's own way.

I don't think I can get it here, but I might go looking in some Halal shops...
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

Oh yes
That might be worth a punt. I shall ask about my culturally diverse group of Ethnics that I keep.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

Smoked.
Unsmoked doesn't taste of anything.
( Bats, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:05, archived)

Bacon that other people have cooked
who wants to pop round & make me a sandwich?
( broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:05, archived)

Pig
Thick, no rind, fried in beef dripping
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:07, archived)

food is for fatties and wimps

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:08, archived)

Want a bacon butty then?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)

nah i had a red bull for breakfast

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:12, archived)

RRRAAAAAAARGH
FOOD IS FOR THE WEAK!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

Foodies!
etc.
( broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

you eat it they eat it we all eat it

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:12, archived)

Back bacon
fried in a pan, but don't put any oil in until the water form the bacon has boiled away, thus crispy edges soft and tasty bacon.
Stuck between two slices of brown bread NO SAUCE, I would never sully the taste of bacon with sauce.
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:08, archived)

sometimes I like to let the fat soak into the bread and then I take the bacon out eat the bread
and then savour the bacon all on it's own.
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)

How's the diet going?
My missus thinks she's fat and started that Lighter Life shite, I should punch her quite a lot.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

Oh cripes
Lighter life is a terrible diet, it's very unhealthy and there was press a while ago that a few people died on it due to excessive intake of water. Plus they say you can keep it off once you've lost the weight, this is bollocks as you are deprived of everything yummy so when the diet finishes you can't tell me you won't want to go back to cakes and stuff. You're missus is not fat at all. Get her off that stupid diet.
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

I bullied her off it before and she knows my thoughts on the matter
Which is why the devious cow was skulking about not telling me about it this time. I merely sigh and try and feed her properly when I can. It's pork and beans today.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

The Woman went on that.
One day in and she felt sick, we rallied round and convinced her it was a stupid idea, and she agreed. And she's not even remotely rotund, the dizzy mare.
It's a horrific idea for a diet.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:16, archived)

It's shit
I might go and find the peddler of this wank and give her a good kicking
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

Lighter Life is TOXIC shit
Tell her she is beautiful and offer to go for long walks with her so she can get exercise.
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)

sigh...
We all know this stuff, but a neurotic middle aged woman is often not to be trifled with. She'll grow out of it, or her bank balance will.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

Give her lots of hugs and tell her how gorgeous she is
offer her pampering sessions at beauty parlours.

Lady needs a bit of an uplift methinks
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

my sister is in Tauranga

( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)

isn't that leela's first name?
HAWT
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

Wow, we're practically neighbours!

( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)