I'd like to sue myself for being fat on the internet
Can you please advise me on the legal situation?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:25, archived)

DEAR INTERNET USER
No case is too large for INTERNETLAWYERMAN.
I WILL HAPPILY HELP YOU SUE YOURSELF SLIM, however, I should warn you that libaility for your fatness is IN DISPUTE.
YOU SHOULD REALLY BRING YOUR CLAIM AGAINST
Mr J M Geordie Esq.
(INTERNETLAWYERMAN QC: Ace Attorney, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:29, archived)

i'd like to sue neddy for £1.79, this is the value i'm putting on my broken heart

( mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:46, archived)

Here's your 1.79
sorry for the inconvenience
( Neddy shucking chit funt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:16, archived)