Woohooo! No more L plates on here!
Now I can post meaningless threads and you lot can insult me! Oh, and I'm at work but the network has frozen.. another day of starting at that egg timer
( Neddy shucking chit funt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:01, archived)

alright neddy

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:02, archived)

BARK BARK BARK ggrrrrrrkkkkkk
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/nottinghamshire/8129826.stm
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:13, archived)

:((((((((((((

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:14, archived)

i bet you laughed you mean cunt

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:14, archived)

POLICE IN 'THICK CUNTS' SHOCKER!

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:15, archived)

GASP
i hope THE police dog is ok
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:16, archived)

DEAR INTERNET USERS
I have some distressing news.
POLICE DOG is not well. Their condition is described as 'serious'
THIS IS NEGLIGENCE, JUSTICE WILL BE DONE
IN COURT
(INTERNETLAWYERMAN QC: Ace Attorney, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:18, archived)

I'd like to sue Neddy, if I may.
Her shiny shiny face has partially blinded me.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:20, archived)

DEAR INTERNET USER
I am prepared to act as your ATTORNEY in this SERIOUS MATTER.
I AM GAZZING THE DEFENDANT NOW.
(INTERNETLAWYERMAN QC: Ace Attorney, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:21, archived)

JUSTICE WILL BE DONE!

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:24, archived)

Let me guess, you will be requiring some photos of her breasts as 'EVIDENCE', yes?

( RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:24, archived)

DEAR INTERNET USER
NEGATIVE. This is not the case.
I have sent a standardised CEASE AND DESIST request.
HOPEULLY THIS CAN BE SETTLED EQUITABLY WITHOUT THE NEED TO GO TO INTERNET COURT
(INTERNETLAWYERMAN QC: Ace Attorney, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:27, archived)

Will you be requesting a MEETING with the defendant to nullify the need for court? In the form of DRINKS and possibly FULL PENETRATIVE SEX?

( RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:32, archived)

DEAR INTERNET USER
CEASE YOUR SLANDEROUS LIBELS AT ONCE.
INTERNETLAWYERMAN is one fiery dragon in a courtroom WHOSE TAIL YOU DO NOT WANT TO PULL.
(INTERNETLAWYERMAN QC: Ace Attorney, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:36, archived)

unless you're a woman
in which case I bet you'd comment that your dragon's tail is excellent at what it does.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:40, archived)

I retract any comments which Mr Lawyermanmay have found offensive, and provide assurance that I do not wish to touch his tail, despite his generous invitation.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:41, archived)

I think that after ARBITRATION
INTERNETLAWYERMAN will possibly have to agree to SETTLE out of court for a TITWANK.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:36, archived)

TO THE MEDIATION DUNGEON!

( RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:39, archived)

IGOR?
break out the NIPPLECLAMPS.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:39, archived)

WAS IS DAS? NIPPLE KAMPFS? HITLER VONTS IN TO ZE KINKY MEDIATION BUNKER JA!

(Wormulus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:41, archived)

I'd like to sue myself for being fat on the internet
Can you please advise me on the legal situation?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:25, archived)

DEAR INTERNET USER
No case is too large for INTERNETLAWYERMAN.
I WILL HAPPILY HELP YOU SUE YOURSELF SLIM, however, I should warn you that libaility for your fatness is IN DISPUTE.
YOU SHOULD REALLY BRING YOUR CLAIM AGAINST
Mr J M Geordie Esq.
(INTERNETLAWYERMAN QC: Ace Attorney, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:29, archived)

i'd like to sue neddy for £1.79, this is the value i'm putting on my broken heart

( mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:46, archived)

Here's your 1.79
sorry for the inconvenience
( Neddy shucking chit funt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:16, archived)

*cries*
*throws Bonios*
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:54, archived)

they were from the snuffer dog division

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:16, archived)

you terrible cunt.
go and sit in the corner and think about what you've done.

also, pffffft.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:37, archived)

Frying Squad

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:41, archived)

For fuck's sake.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:47, archived)

tits or gtfo

( mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:02, archived)

Woah Neddy.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:02, archived)

You may have no L plates
but you're still a noob.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:02, archived)

Sorry, did I say noob?
I meant, fuck-knuckle.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:03, archived)

it needs them reattaching
lets stitch them on
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:03, archived)

I'll go get my staple gun.

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:06, archived)

hmm, not permanent enough.
let's weld them on.
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:06, archived)

this isn't very nice, can't we just knit him a hat,

we could all knit a portion with different wools and stitch it together to show how cohesive and loving we are as a community
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:15, archived)

i don't think we should be lying through the medium of wool
i'm pretty sure there are laws against that sort of thing
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:16, archived)

We could all just poo in this bucket instead.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:22, archived)

and when we've finished
we'll wank into it, right?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:38, archived)

I'm fine

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:02, archived)

THREAD DELETER!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:03, archived)

Your first posts
and you're already repeating yourself
( CanonCaliber A big bore, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:03, archived)

that's how crap the network is here
I edited and it posted twice.. you gotta love the NHS!
( Neddy shucking chit funt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:05, archived)

i doubt thats to do with the network love

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:09, archived)

Maybe you're just shit at the internet.
This is a more likely scenario.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:11, archived)

B3ta is full of NHS workers
I hope I never have to go into hospital,it gives me the fear :)
( CanonCaliber A big bore, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:12, archived)

The NHS is like a prison for unoriginal people.

( WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:12, archived)

That doesn't even make sense Wormy.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:16, archived)

I was going to have a little diatribe at the first NHS worker who rose to the bait about the kind of people that work for it but now you've ruined it for everyone.
( WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:20, archived)

I only know of two b3tans who work in the NHS in a medical capacity.
I bet the rest are all just admin assistants and tea-ladies.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:13, archived)

I manage to avoid patients for the most part,
which is probably for the best.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:17, archived)

Imagine waking up in intensive care
to find Badger standing over you with a syringe, grinning a big beardy grin.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:15, archived)

You just slid off your chair, didn't you?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:17, archived)

It was how we met.
Well not in intensive care. More in a dark alley. You get the gist though.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:22, archived)

I'd breathe a sigh of relief if it's just a syringe that he wanted to stick in my bum
:)
( CanonCaliber A big bore, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:28, archived)

The L plates are still there, but only visible to those of us with Platinum accounts

( Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:03, archived)

No icon

( WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:03, archived)

The only regulars without icons are dirty faced paupers.

( WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:04, archived)

Like DT?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:04, archived)

Bogus and rosalicious

( WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:05, archived)

Dekazer bought my icon
cos i'm a stinking hobo.

*waits for obvious strikethrough*
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:06, archived)

Dekazer bought my icon
cos i'm a stinking hobo.

*waits for obvious strikethrough*

I'm a pretty, pretty princess
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:07, archived)

spack.

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:08, archived)

WIN.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:39, archived)

i have icons
i dont use them
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:05, archived)

because you prefer to keep quiet about your work for charidee
until now.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:07, archived)

i donate
the icons are just shit
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:09, archived)

youn are
you moing.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:13, archived)

I'm a proper tight cunt

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:06, archived)

really?
Can I have a go?
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:14, archived)

No
I'm very exclusive and you're not pretty enough
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:18, archived)

That is no different from when you had L plates

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:04, archived)

Fuck off, blue-namer.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:04, archived)

This is one of my favourite insults.

( WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:04, archived)

I don't get it

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:05, archived)

That's becuase you are one.

( WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:06, archived)

^This.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:06, archived)

Thanks for clearing that up

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:06, archived)

All names are blue

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:06, archived)

Stop ruining what is otherwise a perfectly good insult, you shitcock.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:07, archived)

Stop making up rubbish insults then, you massive two-arms!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:08, archived)

I didn't make it up, did I?
You're just not down with the kids, old man.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:12, archived)

I'm plowing a lonely furrow in the field of mediocrity here.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:14, archived)

All except mine are blue it's how I find my posts,
I rarely look at other's profiles because it means deleting them from my history to turn them blue again.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:38, archived)

dark grey bar by your post on the left of the screen not give it away?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:40, archived)

that's a shame
it says something REALLY NICE about you in my profile

but you'll never know
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:46, archived)

anyone with a user number over 70,000 is a shitcunt

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:05, archived)

I feel this can be extended to 60,000.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:05, archived)

30.000

( mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:06, archived)

SAD FACE.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:07, archived)

23,500

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:09, archived)

You know you have a higher id number than me.

( WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:14, archived)

20,000

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:08, archived)

I'd feel comfortable with 10,000

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:11, archived)

can we compromise on 16,000?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:11, archived)

What's in it for me?

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:17, archived)

a day at the zoo

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:19, archived)

I best get to see the monkeys.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:19, archived)

you can get in there and fling poo with them if you like
in fact, i insist
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:20, archived)

MONKEEEEYS?!?

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:30, archived)

look behind you, a three headed monkey!

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:38, archived)

I'm selling these fine leather jackets.

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:41, archived)

how appropriate, you fight like a cow

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:47, archived)

It's... pink...

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:05, archived)

a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 10:07, archived)

or,
b3ta.com/questions/bugs_and_feature_requests/post201115
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:08, archived)

A couple of rather touchy spastics there

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:12, archived)

QOTWers, eh?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:13, archived)

Shitcunt
and proud. (not really, I'm going to go cry in the bathroom now)
(Bababoon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:10, archived)

Morning Neddy

( Mrs Sp@m, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:06, archived)

don't post too many new threads
people will get angry

this one is ok, i guess.

hello nedward. oh, you're a chick. hello nedwina.
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:06, archived)

let the pandering commence!

( WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:07, archived)

i haven't had a good pander up for ages, i might pick this one for a go

( mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:08, archived)

i think most panderers are going to be confused by the name

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:12, archived)

Are you 17?
If you are 17 you are guaranteed to bin it within a week. It happens on b3ta as well as life.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:06, archived)

Give me an N, Give me an Eddy
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?

NEDDY!

*screams*
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:07, archived)

GREAT!

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:09, archived)

Alright Dobby

( RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:11, archived)

hey there neddy, well done on surviving your first few weeks
tell me something about yourself, i understand you are a young lady, where are you from? do you have a boyfriend? do you use msn? i'd love to chat to you
( mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:12, archived)

^this.
with added facebook :)
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:13, archived)

Internet Lothario Mongychops Strikes Again!

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:14, archived)

ILMSA!

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:19, archived)

dude, check the profile, it's a proper munter

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:15, archived)

Ooh, shiny.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:16, archived)

Apparently I've met them.

( WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:16, archived)

what!!!!!! she has stolen my heart, i'll admit she is too good for me but if she becomes just my friend, pehaps meets me once in a while i will endevor to win her heart

( mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:31, archived)

PHOTOS or GTFO
And such
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:33, archived)

i hope you will refrain from such comments when i have secured neddy's heart as my own

( mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:44, archived)

good luck to you there but seriously, this one munts pretty damned hard

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:49, archived)

Hello Neddy
I'm in my office and I'm too hot.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:15, archived)

Is "in your office" a euphemism for on the throne?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:17, archived)

Oh right.
I'm seriously considering getting another little Royal Python. I've been checking out the snake forum I used to go on and all the adorable Royals have swung my decision away from a Corn snake.
( Bats, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:19, archived)

I hear king cobras are adorable
I'd like a snake but it would probaly attack me when trying to make it unleash the fury
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:22, archived)

Cobras are on the DWA list.
Meaning you need a license and things like two locked doors between the rest of the house and the room where the animal is.
( Bats, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:26, archived)

So I need a licence to own a walrus...
That sucks
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:29, archived)

Have a baby
I'm sure with your genetics whatever progeny you created could approximate a walrus.
( WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:32, archived)

You answered that one yourself
With my genetics - as in, unless asexual reproduction becomes possible for humans, that's not gonna happen.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:37, archived)

www.captivebred.co.uk/dwwaainfo2.htm
( Bats, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:35, archived)

i like the bit that says
DWAAI!
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:48, archived)