It's easy and cheap
which is why it looks so shit. Be a man, and tell your wife to stop nagging for a wooden platform outside the patio doors or you'll really give a decking, y'hear?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:35, archived)

Shut up decking is great
you can have a piss and it doesn't pool around your feet.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:36, archived)

Yeah, fucking great
"Honey, can you go to B&Q and get the wood for that outdoor pisser we talked about? I want to squat outside the kitchen window and imagine I'm on a French camping holiday."
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:40, archived)

what things are acceptable in a garden?
i'm ok with grass right
( well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:42, archived)

I hear worms are quite popular with the trendy gardening set.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:44, archived)

half a washing machine, three bald car tyres
and a rotating outdoor clothes dryer with the wires all saggy and loose.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:46, archived)

I have a pink 1970s toilet in my front garden at the moment.
I'm tempted to suggest to Mrs Shambles that we turn it into a novelty bird bath.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:48, archived)

DO THIS ONE.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:51, archived)

Two rusting cars of the same model
which gives no indication of which is the restoration project and which is the parts donor car
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:56, archived)

Broken garden furniture,
a damp sofa and an elderly relative's rotting corpse.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:59, archived)

a rusting Hillman Imp with no two doors the same colour
if you live in Collyhurst, apparently
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:03, archived)