You may have the least authoritative surname known to man.
Consider changing it to Hitler.
( ArthurTheRat, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 23:36, archived)

Or growing a beard. Beards have authority.

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 23:41, archived)

Or wearing a hi-viz jacket. They've got authority.

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 23:41, archived)

Or all of the above.

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 23:41, archived)

it might not work as well altogether

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 23:41, archived)

a hi-friz jacket

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 23:42, archived)

one that has a loudspeaker embedded in the fabric
that shouts LOOK AT ME PAY ATTENTION TO ME OH MY GOD! every so often

for safety
( moohalaa, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 23:46, archived)

unless you're female

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 23:41, archived)

well, if it's wispy out-of-retirement exam invigilator ladybeard, no
but a full blown handlebar ladymoustache will show them who's boss
( ArthurTheRat, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 23:43, archived)

a heavily waxed lady-mo would show me who was the boss

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 23:46, archived)