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what you need is for the portal gun from the portal-based game 'portal' to be real

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:46, archived)
Maybe I need a portal gun.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:48, archived)
like the one from the game 'portal'?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:49, archived)
I don't think he even has a sofa, his chaise is a lie

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:51, archived)
*blinks*
...wow
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:52, archived)
You terrible person.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 10:52, archived)