I enjoy long walks along deserted moor land
followed by arguing, hitting, burying and running.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)

Have you ever tried putting that in your local paper?
We put an ad in the local lonely hearts for an ex-colleague of mine who had a passion for rescuing greyhounds. Something along the lines of...

''50 year old male, bald and portly seeks female greyhound for a romantic dinner, heavy petting and maybe more. Non-smoker preferable''.

They print anything.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

I saw a lonely hearts advert a couple of years ago that just said
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 16:06, archived)

I think I'm gonna nick that.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)

You could perhaps use it as the basis for some sort of song lyric.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 16:16, archived)

Are you suggesting some moody bastard with a rose between his arse cheeks has used it already?

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 16:17, archived)

*cough* gladioli *cough*

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 16:18, archived)

I've never been much of a gardening expert :(

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 16:19, archived)