I'm eating an egg and bacon 'MAX' sandwich from my local shell garage.
I've found four small bits of bacon in the entire three sandwiches.

I mean, for fucks sake, it cost £2.70!

For this, I think we should invade Poland. Who's with me?
(trumpet, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 11:36, archived)

Why on earth did you buy a sandwich from the garage?
The only edibles that should be bought in garages are biscuits, chocolate and crisps.

And that's only if you're travelling.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 11:51, archived)

And boiled sweets
Specifically those ones that come in a tin and spray icing sugar all over you when you open them.
( bloobloo, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 11:56, archived)