Apply for free money
www.cica.gov.uk/
( WormuIus, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 21:03, archived)

I got beaten up, had to take six weeks off work with no sick pay
had to pay for treatment for my fucked up eye and buy new glasses. I didn't get any money because I hadn't been beaten up enough, it seems.
( rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 21:13, archived)

that's odd,
my brother got money for being punched in the face once, and he only had a bruise.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 21:16, archived)