From your mum.

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:26, archived)

and she's also talking to you on b3ta at the same time

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:35, archived)

FOUND THIS SITE FOR YOU
It was advertised in one of my mum's magazines with the caption "FART WITH CONFIDENCE".
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:36, archived)

Could have used some of those last weekend.
Was staying with Girlfriends parents for the first time. Trying to hold farts in for that long is not good for the bowels.
( Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:42, archived)

I love the fact
they're called 'Shreddies', and they have a 'patented activated carbon rear panel'... Arf!
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)